Funny gunsmoke quotes

Safer than chitlins on a city folk's supper plate. Hotter than a jug full of red ants. If that don't put a clod in your shoe. You couldn't burst a bird's egg with a ball-peen hammer. This here [stew] will grow hair on your elbows. This here [stew] will put muscles in your whiskers. [It's] hot enough to fry a horseshoe.

5. Festus Haggen: Don't you think somebody oughta reckon with him, Matthew? U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: What did you say his name was again, Festus? Festus Haggen: I …Funny Confucius Quotes About Dating and Marriage. #24. “When man bring wife flowers for no reason, there usually reason.”. #25. “Passionate kiss like spider’s web soon lead to undoing of fly.”. #26. “Boy fool with girl …Here are some great bull riding sayings that are fun and inspiring. “A good old rodeo never hurt anyone.”. “Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.”. “Bull riding is probably the most dangerous sport in the world in terms of head injuries.”. “Don’t squat with your spurs on.”. “Don’t wake a sleepin’ rattler.”.Funny Confucius Quotes About Dating and Marriage. #24. “When man bring wife flowers for no reason, there usually reason.”. #25. “Passionate kiss like spider’s web soon lead to undoing of fly.”. #26. “Boy fool with girl …Best of Confucius Quotes Quotes. 1. “Man who open car door for girlfriend reveal one thing: either car is new or girlfriend is new.”. 2. “Behind every successful man is good woman — and very surprised mother-in-law.”. 3. “No husband ever been shot while he do dishes.”. Hey there!Funny grandma quotes to make her laugh. 1. “That’s what it is to be a grandma. All fun and no stress.” -Marie Osmond. Photo by David Em/Humor Living. 2. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was . She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.” -Ellen DeGeneres. 3.These funny dog quotes are always a treat to read, and there is an entire Twitter account dedicated to the thoughts of a dog. #3 “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney. Report. 26 points. POST. Zophra. Zophra. Community Member • Follow Unfollow. 7 months ago. Created by potrace 1.15, written …Shop Funny Quote from Festus Haggen gunsmoke-quote t-shirts designed by numpdog as well as other gunsmoke-quote merchandise at TeePublic. FREE US Shipping for Orders $80+ Hi there!

The 25 Most Iconic Quotes From Classic Western Movies. "We're in the West, the West is where you make your luck." By Alex Buscemi | October 5, 2023. In the golden era of Hollywood, Western stars ...Best "Gunsmoke" TV Show Quotes | Quote Catalog. Home. ›. TV Quotes. ›. Gunsmoke Quotes. Total quotes: 0. Gunsmoke is an American radio and television …Funny Quotes About Sleep. People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. Leo J. Burke. My mother told me to follow my dreams, so I took a nap. Unknown. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. Anthony Burgess. They call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.Funny Cowboy Quotes. “Some cowboys have silver spurs, but I have a green thumb.”. “Never squat with your spurs on, unless you want to moon the entire saloon.”. “I’m not a real cowboy, I just play one on my hobby ranch.”. “If you can’t rope ’em, hug ’em.”. “Cowboys don’t cry, they just water their horses.”.In a world filled with constant noise and distractions, a well-crafted funny short quote or saying has the power to captivate and entertain. Whether it’s a clever one-liner or a hu...A great memorable quote from the Gunsmoke: Return to Dodge movie on Quotes.net - Matt Dillon: Glad ya came. You're lookin' great.Kitty Russell: You cut that out.Matt Dillon: What?Kitty Russell: You listen to me, cowboy. ... Gunsmoke: Return to Dodge is the first made-for-television western film based on the 20-year (1955–1975) television ...The following are fifty funny quotes by famous people: 1. “I once spent a year in Philadelphia; I think it was on a Sunday.”. C. Fields. Image by Pexels from Pixabay. Starting off is W.C. Fields, the legendary comedian, who delivered this wry observation, capturing the essence of his humor and wit.According To Festus© is a collection of 206 sayings and 71 stories of wisdom by Festus Haggen of Gunsmoke© fame. Festus’ sayings and stories are supported by Biblical Proverbs and Bible references. I hope you enjoy reading and pondering them as much as I did when I compiled them.

Funny Golf Quotes. “If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”. - This would be a great golf slogan! ― Dean Martin (Singer & Actor) “If you get caught on the course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, then hold up your one-iron; even god cannot hit a one-iron.”. ― Lee Trevino (Professional Golfer)Gunsmoke is a legendary American television series that aired from 1955 to 1975, spanning an impressive twenty seasons. Set in the rugged Old West, Gunsmoke captivated audiences wi...775K views 5 years ago. Just a small sampling of the wonderful writing on my favorite show :) Please check video player settings to make sure you're viewing in HD. Fans of James Arness and...3-Step Quick Quote Great! AFC Home Club Warranty is ready to help 🔒 It’s safe. Information is only used to deliver your quote. By clicking “Get My Free Quote” you authorize centsa...

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I'll leave when I'm ready. Reb Kittredge: You'll leave right now! Curly Mather: I reckon that's a choice I'll make for myself. Reb Kittredge: The only choice you've got is how you'll go -- either riding on a horse or feet first. Curly Mather: You've been twirling a pretty big rope ever since you came here.Find the latest MISTE INVERSIONES, SICAV S.A. (0P0000ITMX.F) stock quote, history, news and other vital information to help you with your stock trading and investing.A show with over 600 episodes is bound to have some mishaps. Here's three that we found! Did you catch them?Many graduates write humorous quotations in their friends’ yearbooks. Some quotes may be related to their school experience, while others seem entirely random and are simply writte...

5. Kitty Russell: Matt, you can't account for everything that happens to people who touch you. You know, I learned a long time ago, there are some things in this life that you just accept the way they are. U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: That's pretty deep for a redhead. Kitty Russell: I'm a pretty deep redhead.He's the smartest Haggen, the funniest Haggen, and certainly our favorite Haggen!Want more MeTV? Download our app & go to metv.com for stories, quizzes and m...Whether you are a die-hard “Gunsmoke” enthusiast or simply appreciate good old-fashioned humor, these Festus Haggen quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face. In …But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.”. – Irish Saying. “You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday.”. – Catherine Pulsifer. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”. – Bob Hope. “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.”.If you’re a business owner, having business insurance is generally essential. However, navigating the business insurance quote process the first time around is often challenging. F...1. You look like (a) a particle. 2. You learn a thing a day (b) wet. 3. That don't hurt (c) a sow's bed. 4. If you don't call, then you don't seeThe Funniest Quotes From 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'. Avatar: The Last Airbender is synonymous with many things. It's a story about destiny and redemption. It shows the importance of friendship. But at the end of the day, the show is hilarious, as evidenced by these funny Avatar: The Last Airbender quotes. In between battles and betrayals, the ...Sometimes all it takes to turn your day around is an encouraging word. Some of the most inspiring quotes and sayings come from people who know what it’s like to keep working toward...They say that laughter is the best medicine, so it’s a good idea to have a few jokes on hand whenever you need to cheer someone up. With cute, funny, short jokes, you can turn some...Deputy Monaghan: You know, it's funny. When I was a kid, I heard a lot about this great Dodge City marshal. Matt Dillon: Thanks. Deputy Monaghan: Yeah.

These funny golf quotes not only lighten the mood on the course but also remind us to embrace the lighter side of the game. Here are a few quotes from some of the pros that will surely make you chuckle: “I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them.”. – Harry Tofcano.

Great memorable quotes and script exchanges from the Gunsmoke movie on Quotes.net. Ken Curtis Quotes. Ken Curtis — American Actor born on July 02, 1916, died on April 29, 1991. Ken Curtis was an American singer and actor best known for his role as Festus Haggen on the long-running CBS western television series Gunsmoke. Although he appeared on Gunsmoke in other roles he first appeared in his iconic role along in …More of the best from my favorite show :) Thank you for your suggestions! Please check video player settings to make sure you're viewing in HD.Fans of James ...Here are some great bull riding sayings that are fun and inspiring. “A good old rodeo never hurt anyone.”. “Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.”. “Bull riding is probably the most dangerous sport in the world in terms of head injuries.”. “Don’t squat with your spurs on.”. “Don’t wake a sleepin’ rattler.”.Funny Quotes About Work. “An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max. An office is a place where dreams come true.” —Michael Scott, The Office. “I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.” —Joan Rivers.27 Funny Military Quotes. Timeless quotes about the military that have almost become cliches. “If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.”. “Friendly fire – isn’t”. “Tracers work both ways.”. “Never trade luck for skill.”. “If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter, it’s about to.”. “Any ship can be a ...Gunsmoke is an American radio and television Western drama series created by director Norman Macdonnell and writer John Meston. It centered on Dodge City, Kansas in the 1870s, during the settlement of the American West. The central character is lawman Marshal Matt Dillon, played by William Conrad on radio and James Arness on television.

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A Noose for Dobie Price: Directed by Richard C. Sarafian. With James Arness, Milburn Stone, Amanda Blake, Ken Curtis. When Dobie Price escapes from the Dodge jail, Dobie's former gang member and cousin rides with Marshal Dillon to bring Dobie back to justice and a date with the hangman.Gunsmoke: Return to Dodge is the first made-for-television western film based on the 20-year (1955–1975) television version of Gunsmoke starring James Arness. Although it is supposed to be set in the wilds of Kansas, it was filmed in Alberta, Canada.Apr 15, 2024 · Explore the hilarious and memorable quotes from the iconic character, Festus Haggen, in the classic TV show Gunsmoke. Discover the wit, charm, and humor of this beloved cowboy and relive his best moments through his witty one-liners and clever comebacks. Sometimes all it takes to turn your day around is an encouraging word. Some of the most inspiring quotes and sayings come from people who know what it’s like to keep working toward...The Funniest Quotes From 'Avatar: The Last Airbender'. Avatar: The Last Airbender is synonymous with many things. It's a story about destiny and redemption. It shows the importance of friendship. But at the end of the day, the show is hilarious, as evidenced by these funny Avatar: The Last Airbender quotes. In between battles and betrayals, the ...Shop Funny Festus Haggen Quote on Being Ornery gunsmoke t-shirts designed by numpdog as well as other gunsmoke merchandise at TeePublic. FREE US Shipping for Orders $80+ Hi there!Are you tired of sending the same old traditional birthday cards year after year? Do you want to add some laughter and excitement to your loved one’s special day? Look no further t...Shop Funny Festus Haggen Quote on Learning gunsmoke t-shirts designed by numpdog as well as other gunsmoke merchandise at TeePublic. FREE US Shipping for Orders $80+ Hi there!If I'm not there, I go to work." — Robert Orben. "If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock." — Claude McDonald. "The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen." — Sarah Brown. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”.Mar 12, 2024 · 18. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, some don’t turn up at all.” —Sam Ewing. 19. “Hustle until your haters ask if you ... ….

Out of stock right now but this is on Solstice Scents HIGH NOON* - Worn Holster Leather, Tobacco, Whiskey, Woods, Sand, Gunsmoke, Musk & Soft Ladies' Perfume. Extrait only. Oil based extrait. Allergen alert: contains hay. Not safe for Gener- al. Best gunsmoke memes – popular memes on the site ifunny.co. Every day updated.They say that laughter is the best medicine, so it’s a good idea to have a few jokes on hand whenever you need to cheer someone up. With cute, funny, short jokes, you can turn some...Explore the hilarious and memorable quotes from the iconic character, Festus Haggen, in the classic TV show Gunsmoke. Discover the wit, charm, and humor of this beloved cowboy and relive his best moments through his witty one-liners and clever comebacks.Jun 15, 2016 · According To Festus© is a collection of 206 sayings and 71 stories of wisdom by Festus Haggen of Gunsmoke© fame. Festus’ sayings and stories are supported by Biblical Proverbs and Bible references. I hope you enjoy reading and pondering them as much as I did when I compiled them. List of Gunsmoke (TV series) episodes. Clockwise from top: Ken Curtis (Festus), Arness (Matt), Amanda Blake (Kitty) and Milburn Stone (Doc) in 1968. Gunsmoke is an American Western television series developed by Charles Marquis Warren and based on the radio program of the same name. [1] The series ran for 20 seasons, making it the longest ... Gunsmoke. of 7. Browse Getty Images' premium collection of high-quality, authentic Tv Show Gunsmoke stock photos, royalty-free images, and pictures. Tv Show Gunsmoke stock photos are available in a variety of sizes and formats to fit your needs. You know, it's funny. When I was a kid, I heard a lot about this great Dodge City marshal. Matt Dillon: Thanks. Deputy Monaghan: Yeah. Seems like you dwindled some since then, huh? Matt Dillon: Yeah, not enough to stop me from robbery and murder, huh? Deputy Monaghan: Wouldn't be the first time a lawman turned outlaw. Matt Dillon:The Beverly Hillbillies is an American sitcom (situation comedy) television series originally broadcast on CBS from 1962 to 1971. The show had an ensemble cast featuring Buddy Ebsen, Irene Ryan, Donna Douglas, and Max Baer Jr. as the Clampetts, a poor backwoods family from the Ozarks region who move to posh Beverly Hills, California, after striking oil … For help or information, text HELP to 694677. Your consent to receive txts is not required for any purchase. Visit for full terms and conditions. Visit for INSP’s privacy policy. Test your Western knowledge with INSP Trivia. Answer questions about classic Western movies and shows for a chance to win. Show your frontier wisdom! Funny gunsmoke quotes, 27 Funny Military Quotes. Timeless quotes about the military that have almost become cliches. “If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.”. “Friendly fire – isn’t”. “Tracers work both ways.”. “Never trade luck for skill.”. “If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter, it’s about to.”. “Any ship can be a ..., That feller has got more fans than a dog's got hair on his back. We love him like a June morning, as he might say. Them Haggens have a festive way of speaking. Festus may have gone from plainsman to deputy of Dodge City, but he never lost his particular way of speaking. Played by Ken Curtis, the character makes Gunsmoke a …, Whether you are a die-hard “Gunsmoke” enthusiast or simply appreciate good old-fashioned humor, these Festus Haggen quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face. In …, funny liar quotes. 1. “I’m not saying you’re a liar, but if you were Pinocchio, your nose would be in another room by now.”. 2. “The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions and running from the truth.”. 3. “If lying were a profession, some people would be CEOs.”. 4., Aug 1, 2023 · Funny Golf Quotes. “If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”. - This would be a great golf slogan! ― Dean Martin (Singer & Actor) “If you get caught on the course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, then hold up your one-iron; even god cannot hit a one-iron.”. ― Lee Trevino (Professional Golfer) , Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. 1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” —Thomas Eddison. 2. “If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.” —Donald Trump. 3., Gunsmoke Quotes. Curly Mather: You're pretty tough with that gun strapped around your waist. I wonder how tough you'd be without it. Reb Kittredge: You ain't never going to find out, Curly. I'm never going to take it off. TV Show: Gunsmoke. | Comment 0., Jun 15, 2016 · According To Festus© is a collection of 206 sayings and 71 stories of wisdom by Festus Haggen of Gunsmoke© fame. Festus’ sayings and stories are supported by Biblical Proverbs and Bible references. I hope you enjoy reading and pondering them as much as I did when I compiled them. , Chuckle-Worthy Literary Quotes from Classic Novels. “The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”―. Jane Austen. “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it”- Oscar Wilde. “The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily., Some enjoyable quotes from the series., Doc Adams quote from Gunsmoke. Feelings. Songs. Quotes. Sayings. You Are Amazing. It Hurts. Love You. Lucky Number. Words. Kathy Morgan. 107 followers. Comments. No comments yet! Add one to start the conversation. ... Funny Quotes For Work. 280 Short Funny Quotes and Sayings. Are you looking for the best short and funny quotes? Look …, MORE Favorite Gunsmoke Lines and Scenes ~ HD More of the best from my favorite show :) Thank you for your suggestions! Please check video player settings to make sure you're viewing in HD.Fans of James ... , Gunsmoke is a legendary American television series that aired from 1955 to 1975, spanning an impressive twenty seasons. Set in the rugged Old West, Gunsmoke captivated audiences wi..., Matt Dillon Gunsmoke Quotes. Matt Dillon — American Actor born on February 18, 1964, Matthew Raymond "Matt" Dillon is an American actor and film director... (wikipedia) Discover and share Matt Dillon Gunsmoke Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love., Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix. 5. May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive. 6. This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed. 7. Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either. 8. Dear Monday, my …, Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. 1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” —Thomas Eddison. 2. “If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.” —Donald Trump. 3., Gunsmoke: Directed by Nathan Juran. With Audie Murphy, Susan Cabot, Paul Kelly, Charles Drake. A young gunslinger tries to help a rancher and his daughter save their land and cattle from an evil, wealthy land owner., 138 Copy quote. If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle. Funny, Running, Stupid. 42 Copy quote. Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast. Kevin Hart. Real, Messy, Hard. 63 Copy quote., U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: Because it was my bullet that took his hand! Helpful • 10 0. Louie Pheeters: [ sitting at the bar in episode "Slocum"] Excepting some women, of course, just ain't nothing prettier than a full bottle. Helpful • 10 0. Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I'll tell you why the Hagens live so long., The Beverly Hillbillies is an American sitcom (situation comedy) television series originally broadcast on CBS from 1962 to 1971. The show had an ensemble cast featuring Buddy Ebsen, Irene Ryan, Donna Douglas, and Max Baer Jr. as the Clampetts, a poor backwoods family from the Ozarks region who move to posh Beverly Hills, California, after striking oil on their land. , Funny Golf Quotes. “If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”. - This would be a great golf slogan! ― Dean Martin (Singer & Actor) “If you get caught on the course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, then hold up your one-iron; even god cannot hit a one-iron.”. ― Lee Trevino (Professional Golfer), A page for describing Funny: Gunsmoke. An example of a typical verbal sparing match between 'Doc' Adams and Festus. When Festus offers to buy Doc a beer with …., He's the smartest Haggen, the funniest Haggen, and certainly our favorite Haggen!Want more MeTV? Download our app & go to metv.com for stories, quizzes and m..., A compilation of James Arness clips, culled from various sources. Enjoy! ~ Please check out my other James Arness and Gunsmoke videos :)Visit: https://jam..., Kitty Russell: I'm a pretty deep redhead. Helpful • 18 0. Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: [ Festus offers to buy Doc a beer with a silver dollar that he earned from shoeing horses in …, U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon: Because it was my bullet that took his hand! Helpful • 10 0. Louie Pheeters: [ sitting at the bar in episode "Slocum"] Excepting some women, of course, just ain't nothing prettier than a full bottle. Helpful • 10 0. Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I'll tell you why the Hagens live so long., When the gunsmoke clears, only the true heroes remain. Discover some of the most memorable quotes from Festus, a beloved character from the classic TV show Gunsmoke. Explore his funny, folksy, and sometimes philosophical sayings that made him a fan favorite., Gunsmoke (film) Quotes. Gunsmoke (film) is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . Gunsmoke ended in 1970. It features Aaron Rosenberg as producer, and Charles P. Boyle as head of cinematography. Gunsmoke (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Gunsmoke (film) is 79 minutes long., Here are 240 of the best funny quotes I could find. The goal? To make you relax, laugh and have a good time. You’ll discover quotes by Bill Murray, Tina Fey, Jim Carrey, and more. Enjoy! Funny Quotes #1. Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. Bill Murray #2., Blackie Storm as the Man in Black in the opening scene from Gunsmoke (the color episodes), and an outtake from filming that scene.You can read an interview w..., 25 jun 2023. SMREU 'SHOD YOUR MARE Cover Photo Maker' Maker' #gunsmoke #smreu #shod #mare #cover #photo #maker. Daryl_D_NEW_240_Newman. 23 jun …, 15. “The 99 Cent Only Store is calling itself your Valentine’s Day headquarters. Guys, if that’s your Valentine’s Day headquarters, you can also call the garage your new home.”. — Jay ..., I'll leave when I'm ready. Reb Kittredge: You'll leave right now! Curly Mather: I reckon that's a choice I'll make for myself. Reb Kittredge: The only choice you've got is how you'll go -- either riding on a horse or feet first. Curly Mather: You've been twirling a pretty big rope ever since you came here.